I knew I needed help. It was day after my wife moved out of our home when a friend recommended Dan. Originally I was only interested in keeping my marriage together. I visited more than one other counselor / coach. Dan’s no nonsense approach was so different and refreshing that I was surprised. The other counselor I saw was focused on seeing my wife and I. They felt that having her in the room was the only way to find out was really going on. I wanted that too. She refused and was not available at all, physically or emotionally. I was beside myself and wanted more than anything to have her back in my life.
Within a few times of being with Dan, I began to experience something I didn’t expect. First, I did stop seeing the other counselor because they seemed focused on reuniting and working on us together. Even though I wanted that, I knew I needed to work on me. It seemed like they were not able to help unless I got her into to the room with us both. Dan’s approach was very unique to me. He was focused on what I knew, and what I wanted. He asked great questions, created inside me the thoughts of hope and safety. He did want to see her too, however his focus was on my personal growth and understanding. I needed to change and if this relationship was going to work, it was up to me first to take a good long hard look at my self and how I contributed to her leaving me.
Life is not turning out the way I wanted. No one gets what they want all the time. My big learn was that I was actually creating a lot of the issues in our marriage. She was not without fault, but the realization that she was choosing something I could not control was tough. How kind, generous and emotionally available Dan was is amazing. His ability to have insight and guide each session was so inspiring.
The LIFE I now have is so different. Maybe my marriage won’t last. What I do know, my life is never ever going to be the same. I have learned how to be more alive, created deep relationships with other men, learned to trust others more, and to be more present and aware of who I am.
Thanks Dan. I have said this so many times. I could not have learned and changed so much without your help.